i fart brentonio

Tonight we hung with some friends.
As we were chillin and laughing about weird talents we have I was asked why I haven't blogged about my first date with Brentonio (because my weird talent isn't really a talent...more of a natural body function). 


I don't know why I haven't shared it on my bloggity blog. Probably because everyone I know or anyone who knows of me has probably heard it. Some people may have even read it in the back of a teen magazine where they write about embarrassing stories. Yeah I was a teen girl once, I use to read teen magazines. 


Well boys and girls....brace yourselves.....


About 6 years ago (gah! i'm old) Brentonio, who I had been hanging out with for a couple of months asked me if I wanted to go to the movies with another couple.


So we went. 


We didn't eat dinner and we sat on the second row in the theater. My neck was kinked by the time we left. How do we end the night? Watching family guy in his parents basement. Lame. 


It was so lame that I thought in my curly headed noggin "this isn't going anywhere" and I fell asleep. I was so zonked out that I completely forgot where I was and that I was even on a date. 


Brentonio was on one end of the couch and I was on the other. It was hot. 


I was comatose and the next thing I knew..


ppppppfffffffffffffaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrttttttttttttttttt 


I ripped one. Not a fluff, not a toot, not a squeeky shoe, not a spd, a full on trombone fart. It was so loud that I woke myself up. But I didn't own up to it. I kept pretending to be asleep. My heart started pumping and all I could think was "my mom is going to be so mad at me". I have no idea why I was thinking that. Maybe because she always wishes I was more lady like? 


As soon as it happened the other couple and Brent were rolling. I think someone asked if it was the dog. Nope. It was Tessa. 


I remember Brent saying "maybe if I text her it'll wake her up".  I didn't get service in his basement. So I fake slept for like a minute and then pretended to wake up and because it was curfew and I needed to get home. 


My phone went off in the car on the way home and I have no idea why the devil I looked at it or why I thought I could get away with it. But Brent had texted me:


"you just farted in your sleep"


Wulp I fart in my sleep. Deal with it. 


Brentonio still walked me to the door, hugged me (despite my flatulent) and said "it didn't stink, so you're still the coolest girl I know".


Now we're married and all I know with my experience of farting on dates and not farting on dates is that usually if you let if fly you win them over. 


i fart my brentonio.